I took a trip home over this past weekend. It’s no surprise
to anyone that I LOVE music and will sing my heart out at any given moment. As
I was driving on the turnpike solo, I was blasting Marsha Ambrosius Pandora
station (LOVE!). After the annoying Geico commercial that rudely interrupted my
concert went off, the next song that came on was Monica’s “Why Her”. In case you never heard the song, it’s about “her
man” who chose another woman over her. She’s questioning why he decided to move
forward with the other chick and not her.
Now, I know that Monica and I are the only ones who ever
asked ourselves why not me?! I racked my brain plenty of nights trying to figure
out if homegirl was thinner than me? Was she smarter than me? Did she not nag
him or was she THAT good in bed?! The fact of the matter is that none of these
are the reasons.
Ok. The first issue is that the man has a choice. If a man
has a choice in which woman he gets to lay down with at night, he was never your
man in the first place. Now that that’s over…
He was never meant to be your man. If we’ve seen it once we’ve
seen it a million times. You know the meme with the woman sitting under a tree
with the saying, “Some people are in your life for a reason, a season or a
lifetime.” What if your season is up in his life?!
Has it ever occurred to you that you are preparing him for the
woman he is actually supposed to be with?! Ouch! Maybe your sole purpose in his
life is to ensure that he never makes the mistakes he did with you with the
person he is to spend the rest of his life with.
What I ask of every woman reading this is if you are going
through this or may go through this in the future, do yourself a favor and do
not waste your precious time asking why her. The fact is it happened. It’s
over. Move on. Don’t blame her. Don’t blame him. Don’t blame yourself. I am a
firm believer of everything happening for a reason. God makes no mistakes. In
fact, you should be rejoicing that it did happen because it only means that
someone that is meant for YOU is going to come along.
If you ever get to see ol’ boy and homegirl around town…just
quietly whisper to her with a huge smile on your face, “You’re welcome!”
